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Opinions about the book „Spread Your Wings”


That book has shown me where are the roots of my fear… What I can’t cope with. That book reminds me of the pictures from my childhood… That book makes me aware of the things which I have to work out…

That book not only opens the heart for ourselves but first and foremost it gives hope that in spite of the tough beginning you can spread your wings and live with passion and joy. It is a book for everybody who feels like being in a dilemma but they want to overcome their fear and start admiring themselves.

„Spread Your Wings” it is not only the title but also a moral lesson filled with hope which permeates person’s heart while reading that book page by page.

„Spread Your Wings” is a set of stories of a few people whose lives are in reality the stories of everybody who has been growing up in a house in which alcohol was daily life. Personally speaking, that book consoles me that I am not alone in experiencing a lot of difficult situations. That book brings also the truth – it is not important how your past looked like, now it is time in which you started struggling for your future. Some people won that battle, I can do the same.

„Spread Your Wings” presents the problem of alcoholics’ adult children from the practical point of view because it includes the testimonies of a few people who experienced such problems in childhood. Their emotions, reactions, further lives are described and the author pays our attention to the fact that our past determines future. If we do not heal the wounds from the past, it would be very difficult for us to make appropriate relations with other people. What’s more, that problem does not concern only alcoholics’ adults children – the book proves that the majority of us come from dysfunctional families.

At my home there was no alcoholic problem, nevertheless I was brought up in the feeling of undefined lack of something which I wasn’t able to name. The consequences of that feeling influenced my life strongly, especially when I left my family home and I started my studies in  another city. The problems with making new friends and maintaining these relationships, looking for acceptance in continuous actions, compensating all failures with addictions – I felt that self-reliant adult’s life should not be based on them. The book “Spread Your Wings” was the beginning of my way to my inner life. It let me name what I was not able to name and due to that now I can fix my shortages so as to make my own future family “healthy”.

The book “Spread Your Wings” has engraved in my memory especially because of its authenticity. In fact, life and people’s stories wrote that book. Father Polok quotes statements of real people which are not just simple stories with trite “happy end”. These are stories about everything which is in young people’s hearts who experience silent dramas. There is anger, incomprehension, anxiety and strong desire for warmth, understanding, safety and unconditional love. The author creates safe space for the young people where they can tell what in their hearts is. Due to it only something can change, you can reconcile yourself with your difficult past and make the first step in the future without anxiety and blaming yourself. You can replace that with hope and faith. I am writing these words as a young person, I read “Spread Your Wings” and now I know that this book is not about somebody. This is the book about me…

It is worth uncovering yourself.

I think that this book is worth reading. Due to it I understood that I am not alone. There are people who have experienced the same. Thanks to that text I was able to understand myself more, my mechanisms, e.g. why I behave in this way. It is worth getting to know yourself, going deeper into your heart.

The book is a great connection of both scientific, statistical information and moving testimonies of people who have had the same life problems as me. Their testimonies, their behaviours and emotions, the way in which they have struggled with problems they described are so similar to mine. That bewildered me. While reading about these anonymous identities, I discovered my own way of life which I have been leading for years. That book gave me an elbow so as to change something in my life. I recommend that book to everybody who has similar problems in their childhood and to those who want to get to know the world and the other people better.

It is worth reading because that book gives the chance to stop and to understand yourself in the context of your history. It gives the opportunity to see and change, close shut in order to remember but not to dwell on the hardships in your life, to direct these things on which we can have an impact and accept these things which we are helpless with.

For the first time I heard about dysfunctions from the Father during retreat. It was only one statement but it was very arresting. Then I came across the book “Spread Your Wings” and the testimonies included in it. The testimonies of a few of people, aiming at naming their problems, attempting to understand oneself, our own apathy and fears. That book helps to uncover how deeply the surrounding distorts us, it opens the eyes.

When I read the book „Spread Your Wings” one thing became clear to me: that book is written about me, about my emotions. I understood that without the therapy I couldn’t deal with my life. Now I am after third year of the therapy and I have seen its great results. In my heart there is peace which I had not experienced before. I lived in the permanent fear, anxiety. I feel free, I have forgiven and I have accepted my past and myself. I have found the sense of my life, I am happy with every moment which I have experienced and I have learnt how to name my feelings. In relationship with God I have more trust as well.

Due to that book I have understood what our mother tried to hide from us when our father came home late in the evenings. She always said that he was exhausted and he felt badly. She explained that he needed some rest. Today I know that she tried to hide from us the picture of the drunken father.

While reading that book I understood why I have had such a low self-esteem. I was afraid that somebody knew about what was happening in my house. I always withdrew from the school’s life. When my classmates were attending trips, I made up a lot of excuses in order not to go with them. I was ashamed because of the situation in my house.

Life in family in which somebody is addicted to alcohol is not easy. I could tell nobody about what was happening at my home. I loved my father but I hated him at the same time. Among my friends I pretended that I am “macho”, to be “somebody”. My father died but even now I am anxious. I am afraid of trusting somebody. I am afraid that somebody will get to know my past and the whole truth about me.

Since my childhood I have remembered permanent arguments in my house. Parents’ quarrels, trips with my mother to grandparents where we could find a little peace. We were praying for my father’s conversion from alcoholic lifestyle. Today I know that trusting God caused that my father has not drunk alcohol for 12 years. My father tries to regain our respect and trust. That book shows me that it was the best way. Due to my mother, who is a very religious person, we are able to forgive and we trust God, that He can everything.

The book „Rozwinać skrzydła” I read a few years ago but its content have left a deep imprint in my memory which can be seen in different, daily situations. That book let people who are burdened with their hard childhood to get to know themselves, to understand reactions and behaviours in particular circumstances. First and foremost, it gives the sense that we can experience our own feelings and this very precious for me! Thanks to it, I have acquired greater awareness of recognising and naming everything which happens inside me and in my relations with surrounding and these influence my way of thinking, valuing and making decisions. I believe that “Spread Your Wings” can be like a guidebook in daily life therefore, it should be read and be propagated in our surroundings!

Nowadays, a lot of people are hurt, I am hurt too. The book “Spread Your Wings” shows how to cope with wounds from childhood. It is a glimmer of hope that you can regain your happiness and joy, even if it is very uneasy and laborious way.

My name is Paweł. I got the book in a tough moment of my life because I knew that I was not able to finish the school. I fell behind with learning. I dreamt that I would become a sportsman, I would attend the Academy of Physical Education, but my plans fell apart. I did not have any willingness. In addition I had a very difficult family situation. I lived with my mother. My mother turned my father out of the house because he drank too much. I did not like him either. In that difficult situation, I did everything out of spite, I was lying on the couch and did nothing. Now, I know that a lot of people tried to help me. I started reading that book without encouragement. It was given to me by the psychologist. I read it because of the boredom. I had nothing to do. I did not have the aim in my life either. First of all, what that book gave me is awareness of how similar problems people had, sometimes even greater than me. What’s more, they decided to do something about these problems instead of lying on the couch. I realised that I couldn’t complain and I had to work. I did not finish school but I started working soon and become independent. There is always a solution.

Since I can remember there have always happened different things in my family. Sometimes, those were very bad things. There was the alcohol of course. I could not talk with my mother. When I was in junior high school, great arguments arose between us. Sometimes it happened that my mother banned me from entering the house. We were quarrelling about everything. My mother was complaining about my bad marks and playing truant. But I was doing my best. But how was I supposed to learn when my mother was drinking with our neighbour in the next room? I had to take care of my younger brother as well. But I did it somehow. I found appropriate friends outside the house. I found a boyfriend soon. But I changed my boyfriends a lot of times because nobody suited me. In fact, after a few years of such a life, I regarded such a situation as normal. I knew that it shouldn’t be like that but if it is like that I had to accept that. Personally, in junior high school I got to know the taste of alcohol. I wasn’t drunk but I sometimes drank beer with my friend. I tried drugs as well. I can admit that without the assistance of the psychologist I would not have been able to finish that school. I got that book “Spread Your Wings” from her. I like reading so I agreed to read that book. It is amazing but while reading that book I opened my eyes to what happened in my house and why it was like that. First and foremost, the red light switched on because I started wondering what happened to me at that time and how far I went down. I had always had some dreams but I became aware of the fact that there was a possibility that I would not be able to fulfil them. I almost failed at school, I was drinking, taking drugs and sex. If I had not changed something soon, I would live like my mother. But I believe that she is not happy with her life. The testimonies of people in that book are close to me. I thought that if they had changed something, I would do the same because I am very stubborn.
I finished school and I started working. I have plans for the future and I hope that I will not waste them.

I got the book „Spread Your Wings” by Grzegorz Polok from the psychologist in my high school. It influenced my way of thinking about myself. But from the beginning.
I could never believe that in my family there was an alcoholic problem. It was about my father. My mother is teetotaller and she was always worried that my Father was drinking too much. I did not know what I should think about it so I often answered that my mother exaggerated. My brother thought the same. But since I became a teenager, I started to notice alarming things. For example, my father was coming home late, had small bottles with him and mother found them in a bedroom.
I know that my grandparents (parents of my father) had great problems with alcohol but I did not connect their problems with those of my father’s. What’s more, I started to notice big problems inside me as well. Firstly, low self-esteem, I was permanently dissatisfied with myself and I did not believe that I could do something successfully. But, at the same time, I had successes and I passed with merit. When I had a boyfriend, I began having greater complexes because it seemed to me that I was ugly and I was afraid that he could leave me. I was fed up with myself. When I read that book I started to understand more things. First and foremost, I started to understand why my father can have such problems and why I had such problems with myself. I know that I cannot look at myself objectively, I cannot value myself and I demand too much out of myself. But from the testimonies in that book I know that a lot of young people fight with the same problems and we cannot give up.
Now I am studying. I fight further even if I know that there is a great deal of work ahead of me. I would like to thank the author of that book for the support on that way.

Due to that book a very painful situation of my life was healed and it could bring me unexpected blessing… open fathomless space of God in a human being.

That book helped me to understand family problems, their consequences in our heads. I recommend!

Thanks to that book I have understood and got to know better the lives of people from alcoholics’ families.

Presented situations make me realized that we do not appreciate what we have and we disregard matters, people and feelings the other people did not even experience.

 I believe that it is a perfect book for people who are still complaining, who they are dissatisfied with their lives and are striving for something. That book can cause that you will appreciate your “ideal life”.

Doesn’t „spread you wings” mean, first and foremost, to forgive?
The book is dedicated to those who did not experience the joy of their childhood. The author writes about the alcoholics’ adult children and children from the dysfunctional families who constitute the majority in Poland, as we read in that book.
Does the person who did not experience the warmth and intimacy in such an important time in his life can forgive his relatives? – it is one of those questions which are often posed in the radio campaign of that book.
We could accompany people in our radio programme “Way” who have discovered that book for themselves and we appreciate with them that the author, as a Father, has taken up such a difficult social problem.
We recommend that book.
The authors of the catholic magazine “Way” in the Polish Radio Katowice